Here you are wife-san
6.51am Alarm goes off… press snooze and go back to sleep.
7.00am Alarm goes off again. Monday already? Where did the weekend go?!
7.05am Make breakfast and realise I didn’t make a box of salad for lunch this week, oh well left over veg from last night for lunch today.
7.07am Realise Rachel’s favourite food isn’t on, so watch Crystal Maze instead.
7.35am Leave for work realising that this could be the last day I take my car to work as hopefully I should be getting a works van.
7.48am Realise the road into work is closed and have to do a detour halfway round Renfrew to get there.
7.53am Meet my colleague Marcus in the car park. Ask him how he got on with his second job interview. He’s quietly confident and says if I see him dancing he’s been offered the job!
8.00am Filling out weekly time sheets for work. I have to justify every working hour, but surely I’m not working doing this so how can I justify it?
8.45am Wondering around twiddling my thumbs not sure where I will be going today
9.07am Marcus dances by the office window… guess what he’s just found out!
9.20am told to go to a customer in Thornliebank called Turner Aviation to see if there is any more electrical work I can do on the machine guards
9.40am Arrive at Turner’s and go round all the machines we are fitting guards to and assess the state of play.
10.15am Phone boss, Jim to tell him there is some things I can do but still waiting for parts to be ordered in. He tells me to do what I can. Turner’s were supposed to have got an electrician in to put emergency stops and isolators on some machines, then we were supposed to go in after him and fit and wire up guarding. Turner’s haven’t held up their end of the bargain so we will have to do it now.
10.30am Start wiring up guard on pedestal drill
12.00pm finish wiring guard on pedestal drill
12.00pm-1.00pm Faff about pretending to look busy before lunch
13.15pm tidy up some cables on a machine done previously
13.20pm Have to go back to the factory to get 4 screws to carry on with the machine I’m about to start
13.30pm Sit in car and have lunch, play Zuma which I have just downloaded onto my phone. Forgot how good a game that was but very difficult with my stubby fingers on the phone!
14.05pm Realise my lunch break should have finished 5 minutes ago! Curse you Zuma for being too addictive!
14.06pm head off on a 16mile round trip to pick up 4 screws…
15.00pm arrive back at Turner’s and carry on with my wiring.
16.15pm I find I can sneak away early when I’m at a customer’s
so leave 15minutes early so I can get back home in time to talk to Claire before she goes to bed, and also too cook my tea early before I go for a cycle.
16.35pm Arrive home and switch on laptop, while it is powering up stick oven on and stick fish in.
17.10pm Finish talking to Claire in time for my fish to come out of the oven. Turn TV over to BBC1 to watch Weakest Link.
17.55pm Message from Dave asking me to call him. What’s up I wonder?
17.56pm Phone Dave. He just wonders what I’m up to and asks if I fancy going to James’. Tell him I’ll do the dishes and head along about half 6.
18.00pm Simpsons comes on so start watching it.
18.45pm Realise I have fallen asleep…
18.46pm Quickly into the kitchen to do the dishes.
18.50pm Dive into the shower.
19.00pm Out into my car and head along to James’.
19.15pm Have the first of a few herbal cigarettes
19.30pm Turn into old men a reminisce on old times, people and the things we used to do
20.00pm James picks up his guitar and proceeds to show us how good he is… Bastard!
20.05pm Dave comes out with the funniest comment of the night and compares James on his guitar to Richard Digence! Whatever happened to Richard Digence, and Phil Cool and Jasper Carrot. Which then brings up a debate about Goldenballs the quiz show hosted by Jasper Carrot.
22.00pm After several a few more herbal cigarettes it’s time to head home. Not like the old days where we still would be going after midnight on a Monday
22.15pm Arrive home and make my week’s worth of salad which I should have made 24 hours earlier and get my lunch ready for tomorrow,
22.30pm Watch the tale end of QI on Dave then the first half of Nevermind The Buzzcocks.
23.00pm Decide to head to bed and finish off the crossword from Saturday’s Daily Record. Mum has already told me she has 4 left, I have 7. D’oh!
23.09 Last time I look at the clock, fall asllleeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppp………………….